Come Join Me For:
The Re-Root to Rise Summit
May 1 to 3, 2025
Where I'll be debuting a brand new talk called "I had to lose her to find me." It chronicles my journey of going no contact with my mother in order to pursue peace, trauma recovery, and embracing my authentic self. It's also the portal where I began to have compassion for my mother and release the need for approval, validation, or shame.
Click the button below to join!
ABout cheryl
Cheryl's coaching style is rooted in empathy, trust, and a deep understanding of human potential. Through their work as a Certified Trifecta Alchemist, Cheryl brings together Neurosomatics, Accessibility For All Bodies, Gender Inclusive Principles and more. Cheryl (they/them) knows first hand what it feels like to crave deep soul nourishing support from a metaphysical whole-human approach only to be misgendered or othered in the process for having a neurodivergent brain.
Using Emotional Freedom Technique, Kundalini Yogic Modalities & Principles, Parts Theory, Trauma Informed Approaches, and a Commitment to continually elevating and honing their craft, Cheryl is passionate about getting body based nervous system and trauma recovery supports into as many hands as possible.
Whether in-person, online, or on stage at an event, Cheryl sets the level of access to the lowest barrier in the room and is equipped with the compassion and radical self-responsibility it takes to continually push the boundaries on what it means to include others in the ableist heteronormative coaching and mentorship industry.
In the time where anyone with an Instagram account can use #coach to earn an income, Cheryl devoted three years of meticulous study, embodiment, and refinement before launching their somatic mentorship & teaching business.
I Didn't Mean It That Way: Reactivity on Social Media
The Power of Pausing: Why Asking Questions Before Hitting "Post" Matters When You're Triggered
Introduction
In our fast-paced digital world, it's easy to react quickly and impulsively, especially when something triggers a strong emotional response. However, taking a moment to ask questions and understand the situation before hitting "post" can make a significant difference. Let's explore why this practice is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering understanding, and promoting personal growth.
Understanding the Trigger
Below are some ways you can pause and understand your triggered response before hitting post. The idea is to no longer feel like other people are making you be, say, speak, show up, or react in certain ways. We are all wildly more responsible for our actions than our ego would care to admit. Being stuck in a trigger-trauma response loop is a pattern and learn response. Through adding Neuro-Somatic techniques alongside supportive scientifically proven clinical therapies have the power to reduce dys-regulation intensity and longevity allowing a new option for the triggered nervous system.
As a complex trauma survivor I am daily leaning into these tools to reduce reactivity. I have learned how to embrace the pause. Nothing online is as urgent as my nervous system leads me to believe. The wayward comment, or more likely the way I interpret a comment, on social media can't actually harm me or change my life unless I give it the power to do so. AND YET, when I don't practice the power of the pause, reflect, and regulate before I respond—I still get stuck in a trauma response loop.
So, how can we practice this pause?
1. Identify the Emotion
- What am I feeling right now? (Anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
If identifying emotions is difficult for you there's a great free app called How We Feel that has explanations for each feeling on a colour wheel.
- Why do I think I feel this way?
There's a reason you responded that way. Could be based on a past experience of yours from any point in the past, a recurring theme or feeling, unresolved ripples from your own behaviour or something else entirely. Sometimes it's as simple as rejection sensitive dysphoria. Knowing the why or the glimmer of the why can help you create a tool kit to diffuse reactivity and minimize furthering harm.
2. Pinpoint the Trigger
- What specifically triggered this emotional response?
Was it the words or phrase that was used? Was it the perception of being misunderstood or being made wrong? Did someone misread your intent? Are they projecting their own experience onto yours? Are they triggered?
- Is this reaction proportionate to the situation, or is there a deeper issue at play?
Will this comment matter in five minutes, five days, five weeks, five years? If their comment has little impact on your life, your values, your experience why is the reaction out of proportion to the relationship with the comment?
Would you take advice from this person? If not, why are you allowing their words to have so much power? The question is not meant to blame you. Awareness is power not a judgement. Can you suspend attaching value and worth for just a minute and dig into the first time you remember feeling this way?
Asking Questions to Gain Clarity
1. Seek Context
- What is the context of the post or comment that triggered me?
- Is there a possibility that I misunderstood the intent behind it?
2. Consider Different Perspectives
- How might the other person be feeling or thinking?
- What could be their reason for posting or commenting in this way?
Reflecting on the Impact
1. Evaluate the Consequences
- How will my response affect the relationship or situation?
Will it empower or uplift anyone who might read it?
- Will it lead to constructive dialogue or further conflict?
Am I looking to win an argument or foster understanding?
2. Think About the Audience
- Who will see my post or comment?
Is this response as it is crafted reflective of my values and who I say I am?
- How might it influence others, especially those who look up to me or are part of my community?
Choosing a Thoughtful Response
1. Decide Whether to Respond- Not saying anything is often the best choice
- Is it necessary to respond publicly, or at all?
- Would taking more time to reflect help me craft a more thoughtful response?
2. Frame Your Response Positively
- How can I express my feelings and thoughts constructively?
- What questions can I ask to foster understanding and open communication?
Personal Growth and Self-Awareness
1. Practice Self-Compassion
- Acknowledge that feeling triggered is a natural part of the human experience.
- Be kind to yourself as you navigate your emotions and responses.
2. Learn from the Experience
- What can I learn from this situation about myself and my triggers?
- How can I use this knowledge to improve my emotional resilience and communication skills?
Conclusion
Taking the time to pause, ask questions, and understand before reacting online is a powerful practice. It not only helps you manage your emotional responses more effectively but also fosters healthier, more empathetic interactions with others. By choosing thoughtful responses over impulsive reactions, you contribute to a more respectful and understanding online community.
Call to Action
Next time you feel triggered, remember the power of pausing and asking questions. Share your experiences and strategies in the comments below, and let's continue this important conversation about mindful communication together.
Need Support?
Book an untangle call today: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/alchemicalkv4ju5
Inclusion & Accessibility starts on the inside
Imagine feeling grounded in who you are and knowing that your choices are aligned with your values. Imagine navigating your day-to-day life with clarity and confidence, supported by tools that empower you to show up fully for yourself and those you care about.
The gap between how you feel now and the above statement isn't as vast and wide as it feels. I know, because I led myself through this process first--and I do it every single time a new avenue of making myself wrong or not enough pops up.
What if you have a hard time wrapping your head around inclusion and accessibility because at no fault of your own you've absorbed beliefs, conditioning, and thought patterns that have unattainable perfectionism and ableism at their core?
In a capitalist society when people are valued based on their contribution to society, their ability to perform, garner success, and attain wealth and notoriety, being unable to function in a so called normal life without considerable stress, anxiety and guilt feels like a failure.
Working together to unpack internalized shame, homophobia, white supremacy and other debilitating frameworks with compassion and often play (because humour is a pathway to joy) you can begin to separate other people's beliefs and opinions from your own, learn how to define your own value, take back your power and provide yourself with what you need most: self acceptance.
We do this using body based practices, also known as somatics, subliminal recoding tools like visualization and theta wave meditation, and client centred support structures where what's most pressing for you is the focus.
This work is not a replacement for clinically trained trauma specialists. It is complimentary to clinical therapies as they are largely framed in a colonial binary perspective and fail to look at you as a dynamic complex person. Queer Alchemy does not believe in pathologizing you...aka making you disordered or wrong or mentally ill simply for having a nervous system that responded to trauma in the way it was designed to. Instead, Queer Alchemy uses compassion and empathy based person to person support to gently bring you back into cohesion with your sense of self and purpose.
Inclusion & Accessibility for Practitioners
Let’s get real for a second—our industry, the spiritual and wellness world, is buzzing with potential. There’s a huge opportunity to create businesses that truly reflect the values we talk about: unity, abundance, and authenticity. At the heart of that is inclusion. When we embrace diversity, we open doors to connect with more people, deepen our impact, and grow our businesses in ways that feel aligned with the new paradigm we’re co-creating.
But here’s the thing: making your business more inclusive isn’t always straightforward. Maybe you’re unsure where to start or afraid of making a misstep. That’s completely valid. The systems most of us have been navigating weren’t built with inclusion in mind—it’s not your fault. The good news? You don’t have to figure it out alone.
That’s why I created Inclusion Illusion
—a workshop to help leaders like you step confidently into this work. This isn’t about a checklist or slapping a rainbow on your logo; it’s about building a business that resonates with the energy of collective care and abundance.
For years, I’ve been working with spiritual entrepreneurs who are ready to do better but need a clear, compassionate path forward. I get it—this stuff can feel overwhelming. What you’ll find in this program is space to ask questions, learn, and grow without judgment. We’ll reframe inclusion not as a burden but as a natural extension of your values—and yes, when done authentically, it also happens to be great for your business.
I know what you might be thinking:
What if I get it wrong?
Mistakes are part of the process, and they don’t define you. What matters is that you’re showing up and committing to growth. Together, we’ll explore practical steps, unpack limiting beliefs, and build strategies that align with who you are and where you’re headed.
Ready to stop leaving this work for "someday" and start building a business that feels expansive, inclusive, and abundant? I’d love to walk this path with you.
Join the next cohort today!
Let’s create something beautiful together. One step at a time, we’re changing the game.
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I Didn't Mean It That Way: Reactivity on Social Media
The Power of Pausing: Why Asking Questions Before Hitting "Post" Matters When You're Triggered
Introduction
In our fast-paced digital world, it's easy to react quickly and impulsively, especially when something triggers a strong emotional response. However, taking a moment to ask questions and understand the situation before hitting "post" can make a significant difference. Let's explore why this practice is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, fostering understanding, and promoting personal growth.
Understanding the Trigger
Below are some ways you can pause and understand your triggered response before hitting post. The idea is to no longer feel like other people are making you be, say, speak, show up, or react in certain ways. We are all wildly more responsible for our actions than our ego would care to admit. Being stuck in a trigger-trauma response loop is a pattern and learn response. Through adding Neuro-Somatic techniques alongside supportive scientifically proven clinical therapies have the power to reduce dys-regulation intensity and longevity allowing a new option for the triggered nervous system.
As a complex trauma survivor I am daily leaning into these tools to reduce reactivity. I have learned how to embrace the pause. Nothing online is as urgent as my nervous system leads me to believe. The wayward comment, or more likely the way I interpret a comment, on social media can't actually harm me or change my life unless I give it the power to do so. AND YET, when I don't practice the power of the pause, reflect, and regulate before I respond—I still get stuck in a trauma response loop.
So, how can we practice this pause?
1. Identify the Emotion
- What am I feeling right now? (Anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
If identifying emotions is difficult for you there's a great free app called How We Feel that has explanations for each feeling on a colour wheel.
- Why do I think I feel this way?
There's a reason you responded that way. Could be based on a past experience of yours from any point in the past, a recurring theme or feeling, unresolved ripples from your own behaviour or something else entirely. Sometimes it's as simple as rejection sensitive dysphoria. Knowing the why or the glimmer of the why can help you create a tool kit to diffuse reactivity and minimize furthering harm.
2. Pinpoint the Trigger
- What specifically triggered this emotional response?
Was it the words or phrase that was used? Was it the perception of being misunderstood or being made wrong? Did someone misread your intent? Are they projecting their own experience onto yours? Are they triggered?
- Is this reaction proportionate to the situation, or is there a deeper issue at play?
Will this comment matter in five minutes, five days, five weeks, five years? If their comment has little impact on your life, your values, your experience why is the reaction out of proportion to the relationship with the comment?
Would you take advice from this person? If not, why are you allowing their words to have so much power? The question is not meant to blame you. Awareness is power not a judgement. Can you suspend attaching value and worth for just a minute and dig into the first time you remember feeling this way?
Asking Questions to Gain Clarity
1. Seek Context
- What is the context of the post or comment that triggered me?
- Is there a possibility that I misunderstood the intent behind it?
2. Consider Different Perspectives
- How might the other person be feeling or thinking?
- What could be their reason for posting or commenting in this way?
Reflecting on the Impact
1. Evaluate the Consequences
- How will my response affect the relationship or situation?
Will it empower or uplift anyone who might read it?
- Will it lead to constructive dialogue or further conflict?
Am I looking to win an argument or foster understanding?
2. Think About the Audience
- Who will see my post or comment?
Is this response as it is crafted reflective of my values and who I say I am?
- How might it influence others, especially those who look up to me or are part of my community?
Choosing a Thoughtful Response
1. Decide Whether to Respond- Not saying anything is often the best choice
- Is it necessary to respond publicly, or at all?
- Would taking more time to reflect help me craft a more thoughtful response?
2. Frame Your Response Positively
- How can I express my feelings and thoughts constructively?
- What questions can I ask to foster understanding and open communication?
Personal Growth and Self-Awareness
1. Practice Self-Compassion
- Acknowledge that feeling triggered is a natural part of the human experience.
- Be kind to yourself as you navigate your emotions and responses.
2. Learn from the Experience
- What can I learn from this situation about myself and my triggers?
- How can I use this knowledge to improve my emotional resilience and communication skills?
Conclusion
Taking the time to pause, ask questions, and understand before reacting online is a powerful practice. It not only helps you manage your emotional responses more effectively but also fosters healthier, more empathetic interactions with others. By choosing thoughtful responses over impulsive reactions, you contribute to a more respectful and understanding online community.
Call to Action
Next time you feel triggered, remember the power of pausing and asking questions. Share your experiences and strategies in the comments below, and let's continue this important conversation about mindful communication together.
Need Support?
Book an untangle call today: https://link.theviphub.ca/widget/bookings/alchemicalkv4ju5
FAQS
Do you offer refunds?
No. I do not offer refunds.
What if I need to miss a video or voice call?
You can roll any unused video or voice calls forward to your next month. The plan is flexible based on your needs. Calls can be booked as far in advance as you like. Set them and forget them with appointment reminders sent right to your inbox!
If you’re experiencing financial hardship, you have the option to pause payments for 30 or 60 days one time.
I know that life happens, I am here to support you!
What Others Have to Say About Cheryl
Before my coaching journey with Cheryl, I was lost in a maze of unsorted thoughts and feelings, struggling to focus or find clarity in my life. Dealing with trauma and its repercussions felt like navigating through an endless storm. Cheryl's guidance was a beacon of light in that chaos. Their approach, though uncompromising and direct, empowered me to confront my issues head-on. They equipped me with practical techniques tailored to my daily struggles, fostering resilience and self-awareness. I've learned that healing isn't about being "fixed"—it's about growing stronger and more capable of facing life's challenges. Thanks to Cheryl, I now possess the tools to tackle each day with confidence. I am immensely thankful for their support and the transformative journey they guided me through.
-Mandi she/her Canada
Cheryl has been amazing in helping me tap into my own energy and really get the most out of our sessions. What's really cool about them is how they make everything super inclusive and easy to get into. They've gone out of their way to make sure everything we do fits what I can do and where I'm at, creating this super welcoming vibe that makes it easy to just be myself and open up.
They've got this knack for making you feel seen and heard. No matter what we're working on, I never feel judged or out of place. Cheryl's makes sure you're comfortable and uses strategies that are actually doable for me. It's been a game-changer, honestly. Having their support and knowing they're always there to guide me, but in a way that feels more like a partnership, has been huge for my personal growth. I'm really thankful for how they've helped me and made this journey so much more manageable and meaningful.
-Erin they/she Canada
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